we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
