Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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