There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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