I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
