he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
