This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
