I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
