Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
only if we run a train.
done.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
