I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
