honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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