no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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