Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
