We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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