guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
please come you make the beer taste better
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize