In the future we'll all be gay
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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