Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
