Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
