happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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