So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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