not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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