Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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