I smell stomach acid.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
