how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
