I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
