I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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