we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
