Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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