I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
