Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
