She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
