Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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