He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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