so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize