Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
