So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
