thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
