if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
