Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
