it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
