i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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