how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
