I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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