I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she smelled like a LAN party
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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