Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
