at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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