After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
