Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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