so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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