you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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