He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
