No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
