I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
