So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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