i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
