just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
