Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
