How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
