she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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