i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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