remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
