i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
