its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just had sex on a roof
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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