if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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