I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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