Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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