Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
