What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she smelled like a LAN party
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
