Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
